Thinking about Happy Ever Afters
by Daffidill
Summary: {first ever fan-fic, not too sure about this...} In which Harry comes to terms with the depth of his feelings for another boy, and Draco figures out what he really wants out of life. For now...
1. happy harry

**Thinking about Happy Ever Afters...**

As he woke up, Harry looked up to the ceiling. It took him a minute or so to remember where he was. The room was bright, the curtains were gently swaying and he heard birds outside. And a smile appeared on his face. He felt the heavy weight of an arm on his chest. With his head a bit propped up, and lying on his back, he had a look at it. Not very hairy, soft skin, strong, muscular. He resisted the temptation to stroke it. Didn't want to wake up the owner of it just yet.

The morning – or was it afternoon already? – came after another beautiful night, one he'd always dreamt of and seemed impossible at some point not so long ago.. He and his lover. And nobody to bug them.

He looked down again. On one end of the arm that lay heavy on his body was a hand. Nice hand. Strong. Gentle. Lovely fingers, very capable and naughty. Harry sniggered at the thought of what it had been up to, with it's mirror image friend, last night. All kinds of mischief. He blushed.

Took a quick look at the other end of the arm now, and felt a jolt. A beautiful face was next to him – the face of the young man whom he loved with all his heart. Draco.

Gorgeous, sexy, funny, sweet, wonderful boy. He was still there. Hadn't scampered off to get out of a bad dream. No, none of that. They belonged together, if they knew nothing else, than they'd know that. Soppy as it may have seemed a few months back. Idiotic a few years. Impossible a mere few days even. Although the bickering had stopped a while back now – it seemed like years since Harry would feel fear or resentment at the look of Draco, at how he'd do anything in his might to make him feel bad. That had stopped, turned into intrigue, then lust and now love. How the hell did that happen!

The blond hair of his lover lay in a floppy way around his face. His eyes were closed, hiding grey/blue eyes. Eyes that were deep as the love that he felt for him. Ugh.. Yuck, did he really think that? Jesus, Harry, he thought to himself, you are turning soppy… But then, that's what love does to you…

Love.  
It came so easy to him. To love someone. To feel the need to help others, save lives if he had to. He had first felt this particuar kind of love for Cedric, years ago, he'd have given his life for him. Would've, if that bloody monster hadn't had other plans with him. Cedric was his first. He'd find himself dreaming about him, during the year he got to know him; them two together, hand in hand. Kissing in the woods, himself leaning against a tree, Cedric ail over him… And then he had to watch him die. It had taken him years to get over it. He didn't think it would have been possible to ever feel anything for anybody in that way again.

But then Draco Malfoy started to behave like a civilized human being, doing 'friendly' and 'modest', two things nobody ever knew he could do. Probably because he never did them before, and then only at first in Harry's presence. Later, when the two of them became An Item (Hermione's words), did he start to feel that Friendly and Modest were things he could dare to display to an unsuspecting world. So far, he hadn't looked back.

The arm moved. It's owner snuggled up closer. Harry moved his fingers through the hair of the young man next to him. He carefully steered them out of his face, so that he could see the mouth he desperately wanted to kiss.

His mind drifted back to when his life took yet another turn, when he started to realize that he'd become interested in the blond haired boy, the one who previously only seemed to hate him. Lately he'd stopped his vile remarks. Sometimes Harry would find him sitting in the library, mind miles away, hand supporting a head that looked like it was filled with troubles and tears, and some of them would find a way out, judging by the manner with which he'd run a finger along his eyes. Harry had seen him do this a few times and the last time Draco had noticed him watching, staring at him, giving a sweet, supportive smile. He'd looked away quickly, as if he was embarrassed. Harry let it lie, but found himself thinking more and more about the two of them together, in the way Cedric had always been the other one.

And then he found Draco sitting on a log, staring out over the lake. Harry had decided to go for a walk, alone. The others had been busy with school stuff and wanted to get it finished, and he didn't mind being alone for a bit. He'd walked along the craggy slopes of the side of the mountain along the lake, Hogwarts behind him, Hagrid busy with his own things, having not noticed him, when he saw the very blond hair of Draco, shining in the sun. He seemed introspective, and Harry almost decided to walk past him, leave him be, but just as he approached, the other looked sideways, and a smile appeared on his face. A gentle, warm, friendly, inviting kind of smile. Harry smiled back. Unsure of what the hell was happening there.

"Hi there," said the other. A soft, almost tender voice. "Nice out here, isn't it?"

"Erm, yeah," Harry uttered, "Good thinking views, in my books."

Draco smiled again, and gestured to come and join him on the log.

"You okay?" Harry sat down a few feet from Draco, still wary of his intentions.

"Hm… Think so… Don't know really. So much stuff happening that's making my head hurt. Life isn't simple anymore, you know what I mean? It all used to be easy. You were Evil, Ron Weasley an idiot, I was brilliant and perfect. My dad was unfallable and Hogwarts was safe. My future was decided ages ago and nothing seemed to be too difficult. But now I can't make sense of so much…"

Draco looked out over the water again, knees drawn up under his head, arms around them.

Vulnerable. Not a word Harry would have associated before with the boy next to him , but that was exactly what he was. Vulnerable.

Then Draco looked sideways, intensely at Harry. He knew what he was talking about. The things that happened at the castle, left a big void, lots of question marks and insecurity. Mr. Malfoy turned out to be anything but infallible and very dangerous, his son had suffered lots under his regime, both here at Hogwarts, as well as back at home, for years as it turned out…

Harry looked back. A link between them kept them locked like that, as if they were weighing each other up. Harry knew what he hoped to find out. Even if the other wan't ready to accept it, yet or ever, he knew that there was a link between them now. He had no idea how it would play itself out, but something inside him felt that all would be fine. He moved a bit closer to Draco and put an arm around him. Draco didn't hit him. He laid his head on Harry's shoulder. As if to say that he would trust the other. Whatever was going to happen.

They must have sat there for a long time, dusk was setting in and both felt hungry.

"Harry?" Draco's voice was unsettled, "can this stay between us for a bit? I'm not sure if I'm ready yet for big revelations. Had enough of them for a while."

Harry smiled, got up from the log and took Draco's hand, pulled him up, and so they stood, face to face, bodies touching. Harry smiled and nodded.

"Makes sense," he whispered.

"So does this, " said Draco, as he slowly moved forward and pressed his lips on Harry's. The same tenderness that had filled his voice earier, was in the way he let his mouth touch Harry's, let it gently rest, then, as he felt no Resistance from the other, he let some of his carefulness go and their warm lips carried on the passionate kiss, wet and full of yet to be discovered feelings. His arms found the other, and they stood there, in a loving embrace, only to stop for a second or so, however long it took for Draco to say what he'd been dying to say for months.

"Thank you for showing me what love is, Harry."

Groaning woke him out of his dreaming. Draco's hand was moving over his chest, on to his face, into his hair, holding him in a throttling kind of turned to face his capturer, who pretended to still be asleep.

"Draco Malfoy, stop pretending you're still asleep."

Draco giggled, suddenly moving to pin Harry to the bed, holding his hands above his head, framing his black hair.

"This better? Fussy old thing you can be, Harry Potter… Anyway. I don't want to move – we're perfect where we are…"

Harry couldn't fault him on that. He had successfully managed to send unwanted visitors and his tenant away, they had the whole flat to themselves.

"Shall we stay here for ever?" Harry joked, but not totally. The last couple of days had been perfect. Perfect has never really been something Harry associated with his life. Things always went a bit funny after a while. He was used to it. Expected something to go wrong again anytime soon. Unlike Draco, who expected perfection and brilliance wherever he went. Not difficult, having had his life… Although, going by what he told him, living with the Dursleys sounded almost like heaven, compared to having _his _dad as a dad…

He stared back into the eyes that were just above him.

"You and me? Together for ever?" Draco smiled, Harry was't sure whether it was a cynical smile or a genuine version. Draco fell back on the bed, their hands still clenched. Another smile, he closed his eyes and sighed. Harry started to worry now. Was this a good sign? Jesus, say something….

A voice whispered, "I'd love to.."


	2. it seemed like a good idea at the time

**Draco's p.o.v.**

"I'd love to…"

And I meant every letter of that mini-statement. I wanted to spend every waking hour of the rest of my life with him. Everything was good when he was there. Just like it wasn't when we were apart. Before we kissed by the lake. And then, after I made that mad decision to leave him, two months ago. I must have had a serious mental health challenge to think that one up… Although, in the circumstances, it fitted in a long line of daft decisions…

This last year hasn't been a good one for me. Face it. Among others - which I'd like to forget about - I lost my dad, who's now in prison.… And he can still get to me… In my head. He found out about Harry and me, and was livid, but defying him has never made me feel so good.

But somehow, after Harry and I became an Item (as Hermione the Bore keeps calling us) things calmed down. All was well. And all isn't well very often with me. Harry and I did stuff together, like lovers do. We went out together, talked for hours, kissed - stolen ones and long, glorious, wet ones - had mad sex in empty classrooms and in the Forrest, lied down together in my bed and held each other, talked, swam in the lake, got to know each other so well, and I started to _really_ love him. I could't be without him anymore. My whole day was spent thinking of him, dreaming of him, being with him, lying in his arms. And that unsettled me.

It was our last year at Hogwarts – the big wide world was beckoning. And up until last year that meant taking over from my dad. Which was now not such a great prospect anymore… I'd rather had my head twisted off slowly by Fluffy the three headed dog (which is actually what my dad suggested when I told him I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Harry Potter…), than have anything to do with his little empire. My mum said that I can have an allowance to tide me over for a while, but after having spent time thinking about it, it wouldn't seem convincing if I carried on living off his money… So I declined.

Another depression, no. 24 of that year. Harry helped me out of that one. He told me that I'd be fine, we had each other and something always turns up, I just had to trust life a bit more.

I still don't know why, but when the final exams had finished and we were getting ready to have our last weeks there, I wanted to go it alone. Without Harry… There was a great atmosphere in the castle, party's were organised and we were treated like grown ups – which was fantastic – and I suppose that got to my head… I thought that being a grown up also meant that you weren't dependent on anybody else. Least of all your gay lover…. Your beautiful, great, funny, wildly attractive...

Stupid…

Harry was pretty upset when I told him that I wanted to be on my own, to see if I could hack it. I had all my stuff sorted out, my mum was going to have all my things and when the final party was in full fight, I went. No idea where, but I set off, into the sunset, and it scared the living daylights out of me. But i was blind to Harry's sadness. I only had time for my own issues.

Somehow I ended up in London – thank you floo powder! – in Diagon Alley, where the regular hustle and bustle of witches and wizard-daily life was going on as normal. Nobody paid a lot of attention to me. And when I went into the Leaky Cauldron to see if anybody could help me out with a job, I felt so nervous. And I missed Harry. I wanted his hand in mine, his arm around me, his kiss to tell me all was going to be alright. But he wan't there. That was the whole point in me being where I was. Looking for a job.

I found nothing. No idea what I was qualified for.

And then it came to me. I could write, couldn't I? Harry had complimented me on my stories, and my pictures, so often that it started to mean little anymore, but I gave it a go and went to the Daily Prophet, who wanted me, after having read something I'd written there and then. Weyhey!

And I must say, it was quite nice for a while. I had colleagues, I had money I'd earned myself, I made friends, went out for meals and even found love with a boy who liked me, Jamie. Well, love was a big word for what we had... _Lust_ would be more appropriate. And he looked just like… Harry. It still never dawned on me that i was being a complete dickhead...

Until one morning when I woke up, alone and feeling empty, I decided that enough was enough. I'd done it. I'd proved to myself I could do it. But it would never be the same without him.

So I looked him up, see what he was up to. To see if he still wanted me.

He was living in town, in a little flat, near the park. He opened the door, wearing a long sleeved t-shirt, jeans and all-stars. God he looked gorgeous! I'd forgotten how lovely he could look, how easy he made gorgeous seem. Though the man in front of me was not the one i left, my a few miles...

"Hi," he said, smiling a bit flatly. "Done travelling, are you?"

I felt awful... seeing him that way, sad, depressed, all because of my stupid need to prove something to myself...

"Suppose so."

He stuck out his hand to me, I took it. Didn't know what else to do... He probably didn't either.

"Coming up then?" he said, quietly. He turned around and climbed the stairs, trudging like an old man.

I didn't like the way he was saying this. He sounded calm, but in a dangerous way. The way Voldermort could lull you into an attack. Was Harry going to attack me? Fuck it. Had I made him this angry with me? (Erm, yeah... duh...). This wasn't going to be easy...

Inside were Ron and Hermione, and a girl I'd never seen before, sitting at the table, and all looked at me with dagger eyes.

"Hi," I said, which must've sounded pretty dumb. The dagger eyes stayed.

"You're back?" Ron sounded as angry as Hermiony looked, showing how protective he felt towards Harry, who had put the kettle on, grabbing cups from the kitchen cabinet.

"Yup... and i think Harry and i have some stuff to talk about now, if that's okay with you guys..." i tried in my best Reasonable Person voice. They still glared at me, ramming home the message that Nobody Fucks Around Harry Potter, very successfully, i thought. I felt worse with every second i was in the flat.

"We're just going to talk in the other room for a bit," said Hermione, dragging Ron behind her, and the girl, who was called Sophie, heaved herself off the chair. I gave Hermione a thankful look, a first, I think…

Harry was leaning against the sink in the kitchen, biting his nails.

"She's my tenant, helps to pay the rent," said Harry in a low voice. I sighed and mumbled, "Oh, o.k."

"Why did you do it, Draco? Why? I didn't even know where you were, i had to get a bloody agency to help me find where you were, if you were still alive, for christ's sake..." the forlorn look was back, piercing deep into my heart. And i had to accept that although it was probably the most stupid thing i'd done so far, it was also helpful, if only to make me realise what an empty life mine would be without him in it.

"I'm so sorry, Harry. It was completely selfish and I don't know if you can ever forgive me, but… I had to do it. For me. And if it makes you feel any better: I hated it. I want you. Only you. All the time."

Which was all true. Apart from when Jamie was giving me a blow job, it had been a lot less spectacular than I dreamed it would be.

Harry started crying. I felt like a total prick. I took him in my arms and held him and it felt so nice.

"I know, my love... i know, and apart from missing you like mad, i know that it was what you had to do... I don't know... Just give me some time to process all this... and i might forgive you..."

We both cried, big, soaking tears drenched each other's shirts and after a bit I moved away, just a little, to look into his eyes. He smiled. Carefully, but it was a smile.

"Don't ever leave me again, you hear me?"

I smiled back at him and kissed him, felt his lips on mine, his soft, wet, warm lips, and I knew that leaving him was the last thing on my mind. Ever…

So there.

The way I hoped it would end, last year, when I started to realize that Harry Potter wasn't Evil, and I wanted him to be my man. And for me to be his. And as I look into his eyes, waking up in his strong arms, I think I, Draco Malfoy, can live with settling down with Harry Potter.

Happy ever after.

I'd love to…


End file.
